We Don't Do Okonomiyaki is written by Mike W. Loader and began online publication on March 27th, 1996.[1] It was completed on March 28th, 1996.[2]


A starving Ryoga finds himself in a German beer hall.[3]


Spoiler warning! - This article contains plot details about the events of this story.

Part 1Edit

In the town of Baringgen is the pub Blau Teufel Rathskellar, a fairly rough place which sees lots of fights. One night a Japanese man staggers in and collapses at the bar while asking for directions. When helped up he explains that he is Ryoga Hibiki and that he hasn't eaten in four days. After Ryoga is fed he learns that he isn't in Tokyo and isn't even in Japan. Upset, he ends up destroying a table which worries many of the bar patrons. After a while the band leader, the man who helped Ryoga up explained to him where her was, comes back from having done a set to talk to Ryoga once more. The lost boy asks for more food, especially the sandwiches, which Mike the band leader reveals are pork sandwiches. Horrified by this, Ryoga grabs his gear and dashes out of the pub, accidentally dropping a scroll of martial arts techniques onto the floor. Mike puts it in with his music to keep it safe.

Part 2Edit

Three weeks later and Mike is playing chess with his Japanese friend Hosoi and asks him about Nerima and Furinkan High School, to which Hosoi reacts badly. At that moment Tatewaki Kuno enters the beer hall in a swirl of rose petals and bad poetry. He is followed by his sister and they have decided this place is suitable for an evening meal. Kuno takes a seat at a table while Kodachi goes off to retrieve their four other travelling companions. One of Mike's bandmates, Seamus, steps up to Mike and tells him he is smitten and wants Kodachis's name so he can talk to her. Kodachi returns, after Kuno has ordered food and drink, with Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo, Shampoo, and Mousse. When Ranma and Akane's argument looks like it will start a full on bar brawl, Mike steps in to head things off. While the six are eating Mike learns that they are in town to find Ryoga. It turns out that the lost boy stole a scroll from Happosai containing the "Two Thousand Iron Fists of the Vaguely Annoyed Hamster" technique, one of the deadliest style know to man.

Part 3Edit

Mike wonders whether or not to give them the scroll Ryoga left behind and asks why Happosai himself hasn't come to get the scroll. It turns out that he is "tied up" and will be for the foreseeable future. This query prompts a fight between Ranma and Akane which quickly sets off a full bar room brawl. During the fight a concussed Kuno mistakes Mike for the female Ranma and tries to grab him. As the battle winds down a panda arrives at the beer hall and asks for a cup of tea. To get rid of all the nutters Mike hands the scroll over to the now female Ranma in an effort to hurry them out of the pub. They depart and Mike is thankful they are gone. Seamus however is sure he'll see at least Kodachi again as all Mike gave them was the scroll case and he has the scroll itself with him. Hosoi and Mike look at each other in horror before running out of the bar and into the night screaming.


  • A non-Ranma ½ story featuring some of the supporting characters was also posted by Loader: Institut Rats.

FFML Posting HistoryEdit

See AlsoEdit

Other External LinksEdit


  1. Post at FFML
  2. Post at FFML
  3. Description from Jusenkyo